BC Gonzo Pix of the Week
Week 5 aka “Weak of Meth-o-potamia”
So this is the week that show about Meth finally comes to an end. I don’t quite get the appeal. The best I can figure is that people who watch it used to snort meth, still snort meth, fantasize about being a 5 star meth chef, or have fond memories of Tim Watley converting to Judaism so he could tell Jewish jokes. Oh yeah – for all you sportswriters tweeting every 5 fucking minutes about how much you like the show, no one gives a shit. So get back to your mojo wire – you have a deadline. In any case, in honor of that overrated piece of AMC clap trap, this week’s selections will feature the 2 teams from the Land of Enchantment (aka, Rape Country). So there you go….
Week 5 aka “Weak of Meth-o-potamia”
So this is the week that show about Meth finally comes to an end. I don’t quite get the appeal. The best I can figure is that people who watch it used to snort meth, still snort meth, fantasize about being a 5 star meth chef, or have fond memories of Tim Watley converting to Judaism so he could tell Jewish jokes. Oh yeah – for all you sportswriters tweeting every 5 fucking minutes about how much you like the show, no one gives a shit. So get back to your mojo wire – you have a deadline. In any case, in honor of that overrated piece of AMC clap trap, this week’s selections will feature the 2 teams from the Land of Enchantment (aka, Rape Country). So there you go….
5 Star Platinum Pick
Georgia -3 vs. LSWho???: Speaking of rapists, LSU’s quarterback/tailback combo of Meth-enberger and Hill broke new ground this summer by publicly coming out and showing the world it’s OK to participate in Felonious Fisting as long as your understanding head coach clears it with the team first. After all, Coach Miles motto has always been: If she’s old enough to sit at the table, she’s old enough to eat. Puppies win by double digits…
5 Star Picks
Bowling Green -14 vs. Akron: After blowing his load against Michigan a few weeks ago, Terry Bowden has resumed his campaign to promote awareness of the Association of Morbidly Obese Coaches, and his Zips have resumed their bottom feeding ways. After his beat down by the (atlanta) Falcons, Bowden frantically searches for the nearest all you can eat frog leg bar at the local Big Boy restaurant.
Stanford -9.5 @ Wash State (Seattle): This past week’s terse handshake between Mike Leach and Paul Petrino apparently was caught on a local TV station and featured the testy Cougar coach telling Petrino to “fuck off and go jump on your jack-leg brother’s hog”. Sadly, his cranium is pickled from years of slurping Bloody Mary’s and doing lines off Key West hookers, and his Cougs will be no match for the Trees.
4 Star Picks
San Jose St +10 vs. Utah St: The Aggies go from Trojan land to Spartan country this week, and somewhere in there is a joke about ancient Greek soldiers and rough anal sex, but I can’t bring myself to come up with one. Anyhaught… after losing last week’s pillow fight against Southern Cal, USU comes out flat in Sharknado Land and fails to cover. Chris Colley must be rollin’ over in his grave….
Kent St +2.5 @ W. Michigan: If no one shows up for a game at rickety Waldo Stadium between 2 poodles with no combined FBS wins, does it actually exist? Where the fuck is Waldo, indeed? Wow – I must be desperate picking this game – almost as desperate as that time the Fixer and I were so hungry, we resorted to eating packs of mustard behind an Arby's in Kalamazoo....
3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks)
New Mejico +2.5 vs. UNLV: On to Albuquerque, known mostly for tequila infused sopapillas, raging alcoholic Indians, and the trail of slime left behind from Steve Alford as he got the fuck out of dodge. Oh yeah – and a certain show about Meth (Goddamn, dude! I’m gonna have a Breaking Bad viewing party, and we’ll discuss the plot twists during commercial breaks.... And then we’ll do Meth…And watch it again).... As I’ve constantly reminded you this year, load up against the on-the-take Rebels.
Ole Piss +15 @ Bama: Coach Bucktooth is taking the Black Bear nation into the 20th century – what with new purdy uniforms, using that new-fangled internet gadget, and finding ground-breaking new ways of digitally funneling dirty money to recruits. Too bad the rest of that asshole state still romantically views the help with creepy, disturbing, romantic, delusional notions of days of yore. Anyway, I look for Mi$i$ippi to keep it close in Brian Dennehy Stadium.
San Diego St -17 @ New Mejico State: Thankfully and painfully, my tired, methed-out jokes about Meth and New Mexico come to gloomy end in Las Cruces. The country’s worst team not named UMass takes another reaming at the hands of the Ass-Tecs. There’s a New Mexico??
San Diego St -17 @ New Mejico State: Thankfully and painfully, my tired, methed-out jokes about Meth and New Mexico come to gloomy end in Las Cruces. The country’s worst team not named UMass takes another reaming at the hands of the Ass-Tecs. There’s a New Mexico??
OK For Now,
BC Gonzo
