WEEK
THIRTEEN
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| Your Week 13 collage, enjoy... |
OKKIE STATE
+8½ vs Baylor- This should be a great game, except for the usual uniform
abortions both schools subject us to each week. Who the fuck is designing this
crap? They’ll both probably look like Robin Williams from “The Birdcage” threw
up all over Patrick Swayze from “To Wong Foo…” while that portly fella from “Beetlejuice”
was jacking off in the corner…
MISSISSIPPI
ST -1½ @ Arkansas- My guess is that by the 2nd quarter, Dave Neal
& Andre Ware will have already talked about BBQ, Dak Prescott’s
mother(RIP), Bobby Petrino, Brett Bulemic’s bulimic wife, the Muzak City Bowl, and how many yards
Ware threw for against the Hogs despite having never beat them…
MICHIGAN
+6 @ Iowa- So the Hawkeyes have lost to 4 teams who have a combined 3 losses,
and I’m supposed to give a shit??? Their best win is against the Gophers, so methinks
they matchup poorly against the Wolverines. Another 6-6 season and a bowl game somewhere
in late December where Iowa fans can go to avoid those bleak times around Xmas
when they sit by the fire and remember all their relatives who died while
producing high fructose corn syrup so the rest of us can be as fat as those
assclowns…
MINNESOTA
+16 ½ vs Wisconsin- And speaking of fat and assclown, oh nevermind, I won’t be
as hard on these portly fans bc they play for a cool prize each year… But until
WWII, they played for a “Slab of Bacon” trophy, no shit… Apparently, Wisky kept
it after the ’43 game and said it mysteriously disappeared. It was found in
1994, it was found in a janitor’s closet at Camp Randall and was put into a
cabinet, thank you Wikipedia…
DUKE -6
@ Wake Forest- Cheers to David Cutcliffe and his insane season. And just think,
if the white trash impatient bitchin red necks at Ole Piss had any fuckin sense
to keep him around, we wouldn’t currently be subjected to their bible-beating
bucktoothed rube of a coach these daze… Praise Jeebus!!!
NORTH
TEXAS -8 vs Texas San Antonio- When I was a kid, I used to think that if Wile E
Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner, cartoons would end. So I sat on my shag carpet
in the den and cheered every time an anvil crushed that devious scalawag. My
favorite was Speedy Gonzalez, and when I was 5yrs old I never realized he was such
a coke fiend. But because of the PC Police, we won’t ever see him &
Slowpoke Rodriguez & the two crows & any other of my favorite toons
again.
LOUISVILLE
-23 vs Memphis- The Cards have been members of the Ohio Valley, the Mizzourah
Valley, CUSA, the Big East and now the American blah blah blah Conference… And
next up is the ACC, good for them to fool the fools… Meanwhile in Memphis, life
sux…
TEXAS STATE +5 vs Western Kentucky- Oh the
stories I could tell you about the coaches in this game. But you are more than
capable of doing searches on the
Internets and reading all the jibberish that the front line water heads have
spit up each time one of these dipshits gets the itchy trigger finger…
I’ll
show myself out…
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