The Atlanta Fixer's WEEK 11 Plays

WEEK ELEVEN

 

Buzzwords you’ll hear a million times til January if you haven’t heard them a million already… Heisman, playoff, BCS Buster, Gameday, Poinsettia, corn dogs, Bridgewater, physicality, Beth Mowins, Pollack has AIDS, blackout, point spread, “We Want Bama”, bloody mary, Brando, dot the I, red neck guest picker, tiebreakers, shootout(er, rivalry), Kiffin, 12^th man, RV, Big House, agent, read option, probation, ACL, MCL, student-athlete, real deal, draft stock, overrated, Harris, cupcakes, not so fast, statue, out with a knee, upset-minded, Matich, cornbread, duct tape, Free Bird, ahhhhhh…

 

Mizzou -14½ @ Kentucky- I doubt anyone in the athletic department in Columbia(Mo) is complaining about them being geographically screwed into the SEC East. They’re a 5 loss team otherwise…

Notre Dame -5 @ Pitt- That Four Letter Sports Channel has put this pillow fight on in prime time bc we don’t get enough catholic bullshit shoved up our ass by NBC, or our neighborhood priest at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle....

Texas Tech -3 vs Kansas St- Winner of this game gets to spend the daze after Xmas contracting tuberculosis in the Houston smog or getting your rental car smashed by some 124yr old retiree in Phoenix. Bowl Fever, catch it!!!

Southern Cal -16½ @ California- The boosters are really getting their money’s worth for all the renovations to Memorial Stadium, thus far each home victory has cost them $200million. At least they have a coach whose name matches up with the majority of the girls who go to school there…

Colorado +28 @ Washington- The 2^nd half of my PAC12 Parlay of the Year features the 2^nd worst team traveling up to the Emerald City to face the Don James-less Huskies.  

Fresno St -10 @ Wyoming- Methinks the pressure of the GonzoFixer Cage Match a few weeks ago got the best of Wyoming, they haven’t recovered. And according to every sports outlet, the Bulldog’s QB had some partying issues and tried to sleep with his older brother’s wife…

Syracuse +6 @ Maryland- I’ll pick the team with the least hideous attempt at fashion in College Park on this day.

Tulane +9 @ UTSA- I’m not too keen on making irrelevant statements about how both teams play in domes(fuck, I guess I just did) and my initial instinct is to take the Over in this matchup. I hope the bowl idiots don’t put the Green Wave at home in December, throw em out to Hawaii or Memphis…

Southern Piss +16 @ La Tech- I’m not calling for the Tweety Birds to end their losing streak, but they’re playing a team coached by a Holtz, so if they aren’t cheating they aren’t winning. And they aren’t cheating, yet… For the 200 fans who’ll hit Ruston, be sure to check out the Dawg House for cheap beer and loose women…

Iowa St +7½ vs TCU- Ft Worth is known for streets full of cow shit and Ames is known for people so ugly it’s Halloween 365 days a year! Put them together and you’ve got a game barely worth choking yourself to while trying to forget about walking in on your parents having sex when you were 16…

 

Selah...