WEEK EIGHT
Some random
thoughts as we enter the second half of the season… Will we look back at highlights
20 years from now and say that this Pink trend was a nice gesture??? Due to the
fact that the NCAA & the NFL keep the majority of the profits from
merchandise they say is going to “fight for a cure”, the gimmick isn’t to fight
cancer but to get more women watching their sport, and buying jerseys, and
going to games, this sham has to be called out. Who has the balls???
At what point
did the state of Alabama change its’ state flower to the Orange Traffic Barrel???
It’s already miserable to travel to & thru the Heart of Dixie, now they’re
making it slower and they’re barely working on them…
Are some low
brow web sites actually conducting polls as to what costume the QB from Texas
should wear for Halloween??? In this day and age of social media, you can
really tell who then real journalists are, barely, and you can see really quick
who the media whores and lurches are out there, they are the Gall Bladder of
sports: you don’t know what function they have, and when they are too annoying
to deal with, you cut them out and toss them into a medical waste bag…
My
statisticians tell me that since 2005, schools who have planned & marketed
various “Black Outs” & “White Outs” et al… LOSE 71% of the time. So again,
to my first point of this week’s column, it’s all about the $$$$$$ and not the
winning. Sell more fucked up jerseys that feature a color not related to the
school in ANY way, and allow the students to blacken their face like some 1920s
Jazz Singer remake, and say it’s for the players…
But I digress…
OKLAHOMA -23
@ Kansas- What is it with obesity & Jayhawk football coaches??? You had a
guy who did everything in his power to eat his way out of any situation, now
you have this fatfuck guy who did the typical ‘Merican way of laziness and got
his stomach stapled, yet failed to stop stuffing his pie hole with pie… Does
that King of Queens dipshit know anything about football, bc he’s on deck,
Sunflower State rubes!!!
SOUTHERN CAL
+3 @ Notre Dame- After the Trojans upset the Irish Saturday, prepare yourself
for one of your favorite internet buffoons to say “You have to give Ed Orgeron
credit”… To whom I will respond, “You have to give your father credit, the rest
of the guys your mom banged when she was 16 pulled out”…
TEXAS A&M
-13 vs Auburn- Foreclosure rates in the state of Alabama increase dramatically
in the Fall bc most of the Dirt Road Alumni would rather travel hundreds of
miles & spend their moderately-earned money to root for their favorite team,
than keep making payments on a trailer that’ll be torn apart by a tornado or a
meth lab explosion anyway…
GEORGIA -7 @
Vandy- “Shucks! If JawJuh didn’t have so many injuries they’d be in contention,
man, if they didn’t have to play all them hard teams early in the season, they
would be undefeated and #1, and man, we shudda beat Bama in that roofed stadium
in that big town with paved roads, and man, we’s gonna like all the country muzak
in Nashvegas this here weekend…”
ARIZONA ST -3
vs Washington- A team like the Huskies appears every year. Quick start, get
some attention, lose a close game, then the manure spitter jackknifes on the
Santa Ana and they become a godawful mess… You should see their shoes…
TENNESSEE +8
vs South Carolina- I love to read, especially about History, I find that shit fascinating.
History tells me that Spurrier-coached teams perform(cover) poorly in early start
games. History also tells me that parachute pants and jams were very popular in
the Summer of 1985. So I stopped reading History, I don’t want to live through
that again...
SOUTH ALABAMA
-6 vs Kent St- This will officially be the first ever time in the history of
the world that I will pick the Jaguars. If they screw this up, they will
forever be known as the “Jagoffs”… Yes I’m a creative genius but that’s why I’m
paid the big bucks…
The 14th
Annual Gonzo vs Fixer Death Match:
COLORADO ST
+7 @ Wyoming- We go head to head at least one time each season, with the loser
buying the winner 3 shrimp cocktails and a bottle of his second cheapest favorite
champagne…Gonzo likes to talk
a tough game, but he’s like that little annoying barking dog in your neighbors’
yard. Is he gonna keep barking, or is he gonna bite??? All kidding aside, there will be a lot of cash that changes hands amongst our statisticians, mathematicians, and other random statisticians, along with all our seedy on campus sources, pimps, players, haters, tramps, scamps, and the usual classy members of our crew...
TOTALLY
AWESOME!!!
Texas Tech/West
Va Over 57-I like the points as well, but I was thinking of the number of combined
teeth for the home team cheerleading squad… And for the 78th consecutive
year, the Homecoming Queen was named “Hatfield”…
OHIO U/EMich
Over 57-A few miles down river, enjoy this pillow fight for the ages…
Selah...
No comments:
Post a Comment