BC Gonzo Pix of the Week
Week 8 aka “Weak of Back
to the Future”
Great
Scott! Back to the Future Week is upon us, and every water-head
media outlet has penned something about the eerie predictions from Back to the Future Part II that are taking
place this week in the Foul Year of Our Lord – 2015. While everyone is sick of hearing about the
predictions that came true – such as tablets and Miami beisbol - most of you don’t realize that Doc Brown and
Co. ominously projected other lesser known events that never made the final script. Did you know he fortuitously foretold that the
fabled Third Saturday of October
would forever be held on the Fourth Saturday of October. Wait.. Wut? What a goddamn travesty. And this week’s winning selections feature
bits that never made it out of the original draft. (Christ – am I running out
of material in Scotchtober??)
5 Star Platinum Pick:
Tennessee +15 @ Alabama: In the original script, a
young Parkinson’s-free Marty McFly saw a world where UT and Bama would
collectively go through 9 coaches after the dysfunctional bourbon-soaked daze
of Johnny “Rummy” Majors and Bill Curry.
Uncanny! He also saw Seargent
Carter and the dirty Vols keeping it close in Brian-Dennehy Stadium
(coincidentally named after our beloved fat character actor from the ‘80’s) for
the 2015 version of the Third…err..Fourth Saturday of Scotchtober…
5 Star Picks:
Missouri -3 @ Vandy:
In 1989, Doc was the first to call for the fine Midwestern state of
Misery’s flagship institution to move to their rightful place in the SEC, umm..
East. And of course, his jokes about
Ferguson were a regular riot (and not
just a shot in the dark!). Anyhaught,
Gary Pinkel drunk drives his way through a laugher in the Muzak City, but I’ll
be dead in my grave before I ever recognize the State of Missourah….
Arizona -7 vs. Washington St: Marty was truly a visionary – foreseeing a
day when a young Sorta Rican from West Virginia would revolutionize football
with his fast-based spread attack. Now,
Rich Rod is spreading chlamydia to U of A coeds with his Dick Rod, but his
Desert Swarm should mangle the Krimson Kougs in Tucson…
4 Star Picks:
Florida $t -6 @ Ga Tech: Doc might have incorrectly
envisioned Tallahassee being Amerika’s first “outdoor penal colony” by October
23, 2015, but little did he know Rapist Winston would declare for the draft
early. Don’t worry though - local
bumpkin Jimbo Fisher and the local Po Po are doing their best to make this
happen in the near future. Noles destroy
the bees in the Dirty.
La Tech -7 vs. MTSU: After visiting 2015, Marty saw that Biff
Tannen was uber-successful, polished businessman who won at everything in life.
He knew he must go back to 1955 and ensure Biff would be the bumbling,
mouth-breathing idiot he would eventually turn out to be. This destiny gave us Skip Holtz….
3 Star Picks (shits and
giggles picks):
Utah +3.5 @ Southern Cal: Thank god Robert
Zemeckis cut this scene from the final script…
Marty: What religion will
I be in 2015?
Doc: Married with kids…
Marty: Aww. A devoted
father and husband?
Doc: No, a pedophile
Mormon…
Anyway,
the Mormons might slowly be migrating en masse from Utah to L.A., but the
Trojans hold their ground this year.
Toledo -14.5 @ UMass:
Another faulty prediction from Back to Future was that Toledo would be
returned to the State of Michigan in 2015.
Oh well, at least folks in the Wolverine State can savor any piece of
good news they can get these daze.
Pocket Rockets continue to roll.
Marcus Camby must be rollin’ over in his grave…
Ok
For Now…..
BC
Gonzo
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