The Atlanta Fixer's Week Two Selections

 

 

 

WEEK TWO

WYOMING +2½ vs Air Force- If the coaches at the academy can pull the Zoomies off the female cadets for 5 minutes, they may have a fighting chance at a few victories… That’s not likely to happen, so I see this being the first of many schlackings they’ll get this year…

OREGON ST -10½ @ Hawaii- The last time we were here in Honolulu the Rainbow Warriors managed to keep it close to shame me in Week One. That’s a sure fire sign that they’ll mail it in this week. Or they’ll be blinded by the neon orange prison  jumpsuits the Beavers rally around…

PENN ST -14½ vs Akron- So are we finally past the point of constantly making jokes about Paterno, showers, white outs, Shane Conlan, & the Amish??? I hope so, because we need to put the best minds on attacking that filthy tub of Rosacea also known as Terry Bowden…

MIZZOURAH -3½ @ Toledo- The Tigers venture to one of only a handful of cities that Gary Pinkel hasn’t gotten a DUI or a divorce in.

 Rocky Mountain Parlay of the Week:

COLORADO -17 @ umASS- I nominated Peyton Manning as businessman of the year when he opened a shit ton of Kentucky-based dough factory pizza chains just before the state legalized the kind bud. Those who schmoke the weeds to escape life tend to gorge themselves on that kind of pig slop. Pure genius…

COLORADO ST +10½ @ Boise St- I remember the daze of people being amazed that a tiny second rate school in potatoland had the nerve to be different and color their turf a bright blue… Nowadays, schools with fine traditions, Notre Dame, I’m looking in your general direction, hire some meth head ad agency to puke out some alternate uniforms that are designed to pick the pockets of their glorious Dirt Road Alumni…

 The Pelican State Parlay:

LA-LAFAYETTE -14 vs La Tech- Seems like there’s been a lot of attention being given to certain inbred red necks with staunch political views down in the swamps of Bayou Plat. But I think Britney Spears has earned her right to expose her C-section scars & stretch marks to the world… I’m sure her children are destined to be future drop outs of the Technical College of Ruston…

LA-MONROE -14 vs Idaho- Last weekend, the Vandal football team became yet another group of hopeful tourists to venture down into Florida, simply looking for a little adventure, beautiful weather & some good clean fun. And like the rest of us, they left disgusted, insulted & declaring they’d never go back… As for this week’s trip, I weep for their future…

 

Selah...