WEEK 4
As Gonzo
& I get our road trips set up for the rest of the season, I looked at
things a little bit different this week. I’ve given you, the football fans, what pop culture trending to expect when
traveling to any of these games I’ve picked for you this week…
ARIZONA -8
vs California- Looks like Tuscon missed the brunt of the hurricane rain, but a
woman at a Taco Bell was chased and beaten up bc she took too long in the
drive-thru line and they quit selling breakfast, so the trash couple behind her
went all “Falling Down” on her…
BOWLING
GREEN +27 @ Wisconsin- In Madison, animal rescuers saved 15 dogs & one
parakeet from a family of inbreds, while a “panel” of “experts” held a press
conference to give the rest of you morons an overview of the new iPhone… So how
many of those dorks stood in line at the mall for 8hrs in the pouring rain???
OKLAHOMA -7½
@ West Virginia- So a WV player defended
his girlfriend in a bar, then choked her later, so obviously he’s in jail. Just
up the road in the community of Mon Valley a bunch of pillheads were arrested
for… wait for it… selling pills. 800 Oxycodone pills & $18k in cash were seized…
Didn’t hear of any couch burnings, but the weekend isn’t here…
BALL ST +14
@ Toledo- Along Lake Erie, a teenager was busted for faking his own kidnapping,
and a vodka thief was nabbed a few after stuffing an expensive bottle down his
pants and running away… in a park… drinking the vodka…
UNLV +21½ @
Houston- Well, I was actually in Houston this week, and it was the usual, a
couple of shootings, kids whipped with switches, lots of traffic accidents, and
a couple of stand your ground red neck gun nuts killing people for no reason…
And some assholes want to tear down the Astrodome… and build a hot dog stand…
TEXAS ST +13½
@ Illinois- And in the middle of fucking nowhere, also known as the Champaign/Urbana
metropolis, or “CU” as the local yokels call it, the corn kept growing…
MARSHALL -9½
@ Akron- So people in Ohio must be really desperate for news not involving a
killing, bc the Akron news is reporting that a bearded dragon was found in an
abandoned house. Other than that, bang bang bang!!!
ARMY -2½ @
Wake Forest- In Winston-Salem, a chocolate store opens downtown to the thrills
of the morbidly obese, while another lawsuit against a tobacco company gets all
the NASCAR Rickys riled up. Those people are the only ones who still know car
racing exists…
Push out the
jive, bring in the love…
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