2014 BC Gonzo Pix of the Week: Week 11

BC Gonzo Pix of the Week
Week 11 aka “Weak of the Unnatural State… Still…” 

 

    Where's your messiah now, Arkansas?

 

5 Star Platinum Pick

 

LSU +6.5 vs. Alabama: A few years back, Louisiana rapper L'il Wayne actually received a citation for failing to mow the grass in his overgrown lawn, to which he replied, “Finally! Some street cred, yo!”. Most cognitively-challenged corn dog LSWho??? phans won’t get that humor, but they’ll enjoy the win over the hated Nick $aban and stumble their way back to the swamps in a combination of bourbon and urine-soaked ecstasy.      

5 Star Picks

La Monroe +4.5 @ Appalachian State: Speaking of the Pelican State, an obscure Louisiana law makes it illegal to “run an abortion ad in the public domain”, which is punishable for up to a year in prison. So will the promoters of this game be serving time soon?? We'll see.  Nonethless , look for the Warhawks to score early and often in Hillbilly Haven.

Arkansas State -3.5 vs. S. Alabama: Ah, Arkansas: Come for the meth. Stay because you traded your car for the Meth! Residents of the Natural State have yet to recover from the swath of destruction left by the GonzoFixer caravan last month, but their beloved Red Wolves will provide  temporary relief in the form a Jaguar beat down.

4 Star Picks

Flore-duh -14 @ Vandy: Since we’re still on the subject of abortion, let’s talk Vandy football. On second thought...  I’d rather give Jocelyn Wildenstein a tongue bath.  In any case, Coach Muscato (aka, Anton Chigurh) and his pedestrian Gaytors keep rolling in the shitty Muzak City.

Ohio St +3.5 @ Michigan St: In picking this game, I wondered what school has had the sleaziest former star now serving time in a Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass penitentiary: Art Schlichter or Mark Ingram, Sr.  I’ll go with the Artful dodger, who’s been imprisoned over the years for the following heinous crimes: gambling, mopery, cocaine, forgery, ticket schemes, and molesting a dead horse.  Impressive!! Bucks win outright.

3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks)

Wisconsin -17 @ Purdue: While on a radio tour in horrid Wisconsin this summer, I read a rather disturbing article in the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram about kids getting into the practice of “cupcaking” as a version of foreplay. Unfortunately, that’s the best thing I can say about that sickle-cell free state.  Badgers jump around in West Lafayette....

Georgia -10 @ Kentucky: This week in Lexington, a filly (by leading sire Tapit) set a record in North America, by getting sold for $3 million at a Keeneland auction. That’s not nearly as much as the going price these days for a Todd Gurley autographed bust of his molded penis; but HAY, those are the breaks, and the Dogs will regroup this week. Jacob Tamme must be rollin’ over in his grave…

OK For Now…
BC Gonzo