It’s Labor Day weekend and I’m
in midseason form… I spent the Summer traveling across the country & across
the pond to the land of olives and grapes. I broke into a bunch of college
football stadiums as well as Italian soccer cathedrals(see backgrounds each
week, thanks to no one in Tucson who caught me)... Now it's time to get to
work.. or play...
I love watching football in the
Fall… Other than that, the rest is pure garbage… I don’t update my Heisman
Watch List mainly because I don’t have a list like that. I don’t watch Saturday
morning Clown Shows who overanalyze every aspect of a game… I don’t care to
stalk high school boys on the Internet, begging them on Twitter to pick the
school I like best. I don’t go to Spring Games with 60,000 nut jobs and
complain that our coaches don’t run good plays. I don’t take off of work on
Signing Day and sit in a sports bar with my lap top high-fiving my friends when
my school gets a goddamn fax. I don’t read insufferable “journalists” who make
“bold predictions” while picking 7 choosing who they think are the best teams,
then pulling out their “I Told You So” recycled piece every year when one of
their 2,000 predictions actually comes true…
Where’s the aspirin???
FLORIDA -37 vs New Mexico St-
If Global Warming is a hoax, then why are people in Calgary now buying up used
jorts from Gator phans? I’ve been to the Swamp in September, and even when UF
students piss in cups and dump it onto fans in the lower levels, it’s not
refreshing.
OLD DOMINION -4½ @ Eastern
Michigan- Are the Hurons still doing that dumb breaking down of a wall bit?
PENN ST -7 @ Temple- The last
time the Owls sold out a home game, the year was 2007. Marion Jones was a
legitimate Olympian, people were still reading Harry Potter, & Robert
Goulet was in the last month of his life… And the team that shit-stomped the
Owls that day… Penn St…
ARIZONA ST +3½ vs Texas
A&M- One fan base used to be good at building bonfires, the other loves
doing keg stands and pissing on fires… That’s about it…
MISSISSIPPI ST -21 @ Southern
Miss- What Bulldog fans can look forward to while driving the 3 hours to Hattiesburg:
The White Castle Lounge near Macon serves luke-warm Miller Lite & the
All-You-Need General Store in Sandersville that still has shared bathrooms for
people & cows…
ILLINOIS -14 vs Kent St- No
coach, no problem…
LA-LAFAYETTE +17 @ Kentucky- Words
of advice to all our Cajun brethren making the trip to Lexington this weekend:
Don’t talk basketball with those inbred hillbillies up there, even if you’re as
good looking as Clooney, they’ll turn into vampires and come at you like “From
Dusk Til Dawn”.
FLORIDA ATLANTIC +7 @ Tulsa-
Nothing like being a Golden Shower fan and having this pillow fight as your
opener.
Selah...
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