BC “Ghostly” Gonzo Pix of the Week
Week 10 aka “Weak of a Rotten All Hallow’s Eve”
I love this time of the year. Halloween is the one night of the year where I can be myself and not completely creep out the neighbors. Yes – Gonzo can uninhibitedly be Gonzo, or as my neighbor Heather likes to call me “Hey! You in the Bushes…” Anyhaught – it’s also the time of year you should pay heed to the expertise of GonzoFixer and not the “unbiased” opinions from the likes of Danny Kannell, David Pollack, Brock Huard, etc. Christ! I think to qualify as an Analyst on ESPN, you have to show proof of suffering from Shaken Baby Syndrome (or is Water Head Baby Syndrome?) as an infant. And apologies to the Re-tards out there for dumbing you down to their level...
Week 10 aka “Weak of a Rotten All Hallow’s Eve”
I love this time of the year. Halloween is the one night of the year where I can be myself and not completely creep out the neighbors. Yes – Gonzo can uninhibitedly be Gonzo, or as my neighbor Heather likes to call me “Hey! You in the Bushes…” Anyhaught – it’s also the time of year you should pay heed to the expertise of GonzoFixer and not the “unbiased” opinions from the likes of Danny Kannell, David Pollack, Brock Huard, etc. Christ! I think to qualify as an Analyst on ESPN, you have to show proof of suffering from Shaken Baby Syndrome (or is Water Head Baby Syndrome?) as an infant. And apologies to the Re-tards out there for dumbing you down to their level...
Can Muschamp pull off the upset? Methinks not...
5 Star Platinum Pick
Boise St -7 @ Colorado St: Chris Petersen is the most famous Scientologist this side of fellow weirdo cult members, Tom Cruise and John Travolta - who we implore to please come out of the closet! Ah.. Scientology: Taking the Heat Off of Mormons since 1952! Look for the Buckin Broncos to beat the Xenu out of the Rams. L. Ron Hubbard must be rollin’ over in his grave. And by grave, I mean a billion dollar mansion purchased by duped celebrities.
5 Star Picks
W. Kentucky -18.5 @ Georgia St: But there’s no need for cults, religion, celibacy, or anything of a pesky ethical nature with Bobby Petrino. No – just give him a couple of busty coeds, a salt shaker half-full of rotten cocaine, and he’s a fulfilled man. He also enjoys beating the shit out of cupcakes, which he’ll do in front of 27 fans in attendance at the Dome. Perhaps greed-head Arthur Blank can tear down a few more black churches to build a miniature stadium for the Panzers. Boise St -7 @ Colorado St: Chris Petersen is the most famous Scientologist this side of fellow weirdo cult members, Tom Cruise and John Travolta - who we implore to please come out of the closet! Ah.. Scientology: Taking the Heat Off of Mormons since 1952! Look for the Buckin Broncos to beat the Xenu out of the Rams. L. Ron Hubbard must be rollin’ over in his grave. And by grave, I mean a billion dollar mansion purchased by duped celebrities.
5 Star Picks
Ga Tech -10 vs. Pitt: Let’s stay in Atlanta and visit Historic Grant Field at decrepit Bobbie Dudd Stadium in Crime-Riddled, STD-addled midtown Atlanta. All the Tech fans I know get
downright orgasmic when the hated Dawgs lose. In fact, I think they’d rather see UGA lose than their own team win – I suppose that what qualifies you for Little Brother Status. Anyway, I see big, fat, ornery Paul Johnson and Co. running it up against armPitt. I said Johnson…
4 Star Picks
Georgia -3 vs. Flore-Duh: Speaking of Tech's inbred, dim-witted, window-licking Big Brothers (that’s what we call a segue in this business!), the Dogs will salvage this garbage fire of a season and romp UF, putting more heat on Chief Dummy Assistant, Will Muschamp. Yes - Will might look like Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men, but he coaches like Susan Anton…
Tulsa -3.5 vs. UT San Antonio: The Golden Shower also looks to turn around this travesty of a campaign at home against the Roadrunners. And they will, as this is the week the UTSA players finally realize that Larry Coker is 89 years old, senile, and dead… By the way, was there ever an episode where the Coyote actually killed the Roadrunner? Beep Beep!
3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks)
UNC -5 @ NC State: The 103rd edition of The Skoal Bowl features bottom-feeding, toothless, scandal-ridden programs fighting for the honor of being the 6th best football team in the state behind the likes of Duke, WF, ECU, the Dale Earnhardt Jr. School of Grammar, and some hippy commune in the Appalachian Mountains. The Heels will send the Pack fans back to their Raleigh trailers, counting down the days to… ugh… the debut of Mark “Bubbles” Gottfried’s 3rd season….
San Jose St -3.5 @ UNLV: Say – are you a douchebag?? Do you love clubbing with your wrist bands and hat on backwards, sleeping with 8 guys to a room, flavored house vodka, and spray-on tans?? Do I have a the destination for you! And it’s no surprise the Runnin’ Rebs are the Douchebags of Western Football. We’ll call for a Spartan rout in Boyd Aviation Stadium.
OK For Now…
BC Gonzo
You guys are brilliant! You make so many references to things that i myself think about when thinking about these schools or coaches or cities. Mark Gottfried, hilarious,, I live in Birmingham and played college basketball fifteen years ago. I made so much money betting against Alabama when Mark was coaching there. How does NC state go from having the second worst coach I've ever seen, Sidney Lowe, to hitting the number one worst coach in organized sports. That's hard to do. Mike Brey is on my short list too. Anyway, keep up the good work. I've turned allot of folks onto your website and i look forward to it every week. I actually really laugh, and that's a rare thing for me nowadays. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout-out and referrals. And please keep in mind no list of shitty CBB coaches is complete without Steve Alford, Rick Barnes, Oliver Purnell, Billy Gillespie. I'd include David Hobbs but he's dead. Or at least his career is...
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