The Fixer's WEEK SIX PIX

WEEK SIX

 

So you know how to keep rabid gambling junkies in suspense??? I’ll tell ya later…

As we pass through the first half of the season, many questions arise: Who’s the best team in the WAC? Where the hell is Chaldron? Will Twitter ever recover from the series finale of That Meth Show? Does anyone at The Bleacher Report have their GED? Where’s the Records Room? But I think the important issues will work themselves out despite the blathering and nonsensical drivel of most major sports information providers on the Interweb.

 

OLE PISS -2' @ Allbarn- Its been a quiet week on Twitter for all the Rebs who were reality checked last weekend. If The Tigers want to play in mid January in The Magic City, they’ll need to find a way to smother Coach Freeze’s Jesus this and Jericho that banter…

UCLA -4 @ Utah- HBO tried to promote this Six Feet Under vs Big Love matchup but they can barely get an audience on broadcast TV. Have you ever been in SLC on a Saturday night? There’s barely anything going on in the one Bingo Parlor much less a sports bar(you can’t even say bar aloud in Utah or risk lockup)…

GEORGIA -11' @ Tennessee- Letdowns aside, the Dogs are far superior to the Vols in ever aspect, kind of like comparing Dr Pepper to Mr Pibb… Or Krystal to White Castle. If JawJuh mouth breathers cared about anything like leaves changing, they’d have a decent time in Knoxvegas. Instead, they’ll pack the vomit-riddled bars on Cumberland Ave and piss on the floor for effect.

LSU -8 @ Mississippi St- Rumor has it that Bayou Bengal fans will drive the 45 minutes East to party in Ttown before and after the game since Starkvegas is a urine-soaked hell hole.

RICE +3 vs Tulsa- Give a hoot! Read a book! The same number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop is the same number of yards the Owls will get on the hapless Canes…

TEXAS ST +10' @ Gonzo’s Rajun Cajuns- Some hack writer said Coach Fran had something “special” going in (whatever desolate town that school is in)… If he can keep his players out of the seedy Bourbon Street sex dens thie weekend, they will have a chance…

MIDDLE FLORIDA -9 @ Memphis- The last time the Knights played in the sturdy Liberty Bowl, they whooped Jaw-Juh’s ass. Methinks that another win here won’t be nearly as tough…

NAVY -11 vs Air Force- So after Air Force loses by 10, if they come back and say they want 11 points to win or they’ll shut down college football, you’ll have the same situation as we have in DC…

 

Totally Awesome!!!

Troy/South Alabama Over 62- If every alumni of both schools along with current students packed Diane Ladd Mia Peebles Stadium, they still wouldn’t fill it up…

Tulane/ North Texas Over 53'- I didn’t even look nor did I care where this game is being played. One place is in danger of a hurricane, the other place gets pounded by mud rain…

Marshall/ UTSA Over 65- Larry Coker once left a Waffle House waitress in Bluefield a $10 tip after his Bert’s chili came out just right.

Va Tech/ UNC Over 45'- The only way Logan Thomas gets a look in April is if he swarms this Tar Hole D, which is as easy as telling the difference between butter and I Can’t Tell It’s Not Butter…

Selah...