Week 6 aka “Weak of Weak Sex”
Sigh… Another week, another string of pointless, made-for-that-4 letter network, college football controversies. Does anyone really give 2 shits about the $200 loan made to Bama’s Ha-Ha Clinton’s Dick or the appointment of Condi Rice to the playoff committee? ("But Goddamit, I'm sure this affects my self-esteem somehow, dawg...") I mean – if she was smart enough to help discover Iraq’s WMDs, then she’s certainly smart enough to… well – never mind…Ho ho.. Anyway, so here I go, still scratchin’ around in my same old hole….
Herpes or Smug Scars? You be the judge....
5 Star Platinum Pick
Oklahoma -9.5 vs. TCU: Smarmy Stoops is on
the SEC bashing circuit again. Christ. Careful there big boy – don’t keep
writing checks your ass can’t cash. I have a feeling Johnny Eightball and Co.
would gladly hang 60 on you this year.
The only thing more disgusting than Stoops' smugness are the horrible
lesions (herpes?) on his face. Nonetheless, his
soft Sooners handle the Christ-Punchers with ease this week in Tornado Land....
5 Star Picks
Florida -11.5 vs. Arkansas: Speaking of sleazy, snotty, big talking coaches with no gravitas to back it up, Brett Bulimia will learn soon enough that Bullshit walks in this league. He’ll get another dose of shit sandwiches this week courtesy of loony tunes Coach Muscato and Gang.
Ohio -4 @ Akron: They say Ohio U. is always the first MAC team to pick up the scent of dying, rotting teams ready for a tailspin. Or is that just the sickly, sweet, gangrene-esque smell of Terry Bowden’s beer farts?? My treacherous Athens, Ohio contact, Finnick, tells me the BobCocks roll by double digits.
4 Star Picks
Georgia -10.5 @ Tennessee: This is Perplexing Line #1 of the week. There is no way the Bulldogs will suffer a letdown against these East Tennessee poodles. UT head man Butch Jones may look like Chet from Weird Science, but he coaches like Chet Atkins, a fellow hillbilly-in-arms. Dawgs roll in Kneelin’ Stadium…..
Ohio St -6.5 @ Northwestern: Completing our Week 6 trifecta of dipshit, haughty, prickless coaches is Urban Crier. Regardless of the inexperienced QB he puts up the center’s ass, the Butt Nutts will continue their cakewalk in Dike Stadium. Gary Barnett must be rollin’ over in his grave.
3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks)
Kent State +8.5 vs. N. Illinois: Yet another Gonzo Kent State pick this year, and I've yet to crack a tired National Guard joke. I’ll leave that job for the alcohol/gonorrhea-scarred brains of LSU frat fucks. Look for the Kangaroos to keep it close against the Huskies, still high from their win over San Perdue.
LSU -9.5 @ Miss. State: And now for Perplexing Line #2 of the week. I could normally understand Les Mis and the Rapist Tigahs suffering an emotional letdown after last week but not against Clown Mullen and the Clown Dogs. Come on dude – M$U is easily the biggest Clown Show in the SEC. Bengals romp in StarkVegas….
OK For Now….
Kent State +8.5 vs. N. Illinois: Yet another Gonzo Kent State pick this year, and I've yet to crack a tired National Guard joke. I’ll leave that job for the alcohol/gonorrhea-scarred brains of LSU frat fucks. Look for the Kangaroos to keep it close against the Huskies, still high from their win over San Perdue.
LSU -9.5 @ Miss. State: And now for Perplexing Line #2 of the week. I could normally understand Les Mis and the Rapist Tigahs suffering an emotional letdown after last week but not against Clown Mullen and the Clown Dogs. Come on dude – M$U is easily the biggest Clown Show in the SEC. Bengals romp in StarkVegas….
OK For Now….
BC Gonzo
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