BC Gonzo Pix of the Week: Week 8

BC Gonzo Pix of the Week
Week 8 aka “Weak of the Union Crack”

After stumbling around the streets of London for the past week, a drunken Gonzo will bestow to you some random Across the Pond observations whilst the rotten Boddington’s slowly seeps from his pores: 1) Brits hate baseball (aka “Rounders”) – Why the bloody hell does one club randomly run off the pitch and the other takes their place? 2) Brits loathe basketball (aka “Netball”) – It used to be played by little girls in the school yard but now it’s played by black fellows who follow that abominable Amerikan Rap Musick! 3) their favourite U.S. imports are Family Guy and Delta planes who take loud, ugly Americans back home; 4) English footballer Wayne Rooney looks ridiculous with his new hair transplant: He looks like a fucking balloon with a fucking Weetabix crushed on top; 5) Most Brits still think Oasis are the greatest band in the world; and 6) Alabama is the only college team Englishmen are even vaguely familiar with: Oh yes. Don’t they have the Croatian chap as their manager?

Anyhaught – let’s Carry On with a cup of tea and Week 8 pix...
Wayne Rooney or a healthy English Breakfast?

5 Star Platinum Pick

Texas A&M -13.5 vs. Auburn: Apparently, delusional Awbern fans are already mapping out their plans to get to the BCS title game after a decent start. To quote famous American philosopher Winston Wolfe: “Well.. let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.” Johnny Fookin’ Football will shatter their inbred dreams and put up 40 points by halftime. Afterwards, the wired up QB snorts a few celebratory lines off the arse of their collie mascot - Reveille….  

5 Star Picks

Oklahoma -23 @ Kansas: Charlie Weiss has been trying to shed a few hundred pounds recently by going on the new Domino’s Pizza Carb Diet: cheesy pasta in a bread bowl followed by breadsticks followed by 2 extra bread large pizzas followed by cinnamon bread sticks for desert – 4 times daily. This week, however, Bob Stoops promises an inhumane beat down in 30 minutes or less, and Weiss becomes the latest coach to get shit-canned in midseason.

Oklahoma St -7 vs. TCU: Let’s stay in the twister-ravaged Dust Bowl State shall we? (And then get the hell out of this shit heap as soon as possible)  Mike Gundy continues his weekly tradition of digging up the corpse of T .Boone Pickens to give a pep talk and oil-stained $3K handshakes to fire up his Pokes. The Christ Punchers keep it close for a while but succumb to the aerial attack of the Boyz in the 2nd half.    

4 Star Picks

Wyoming -6.5 vs. Colorado St: Ah – the first Gonzo vs. Fixer death cage match in 5 years. You’d think after all the whippings I administered to him the last decade, he wouldn’t come back for more misery. Maybe it’s akin to a battered wife syndrome: No it’s really my fault that Gonzo is a vicious drunken, chemically-addled asshole. I’ll do better. I'll do better.  Anyway, look for the shit-brown pokes to roll the Rams at 5,000 feet.

Florida State -3 @ Clemson: Which inexperienced QB will prevail in Death Valley – freshman Famous Jameis “No really, my recruiting was above board and Coach Fisher is a fine Christian man” Winston or senior Tahj “thank god I switched my original commitment from that trash fire in Knoxville” Boyd. I’ll go with the former Hueytown Golden Gopher. Bobby Allison must be rollin’ over in his grave…

3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks)

Georgia -7 @ Vandy: Folks wonder why I’m picking on UGA so much this year and their excuse-spewing fan base: If only we had more time than other teams. If only we had a shorter field. If only our players didn’t get hurt. If only we could go back to the daze of Jimmy Carter and the Ass-a-holah Ayatollah. Sorry Pup fans – Herschel ain’t shitting out any clones, but Andy Murray and Co. still break through The Doors this week.

LSWho??? -9.5 @ Ole Piss: LSU and their cognitively-challenged fans will drag their beer coolers and rusty lawn chairs across state lines into the Land of Bible Thumping and will enjoy the thrashing they’ll administer to the Grand Thumper himself– Hugh Mr. Freeze. Afterward, both fan bases come together to debate who has the best tailgating experience and racist viewpoints.       

OK For Now...
BC Gonzo