WEEK ONE
What can I say
about the new season that hasn’t already been run into the f-ing ground by
every sports numb nut on Twitter and four letter sports channels??? Should I
start complaining about the yet-to-begin playoff??? Should I get up on my pedestal
about how college athletes should be paid??? Should I weep about a little twerp
from a cow college in Texas who’s moved on to hold a clip board in the big
leagues??? Nah, I ranted on in my
previous post(shameful plug)… Onto the picks:
VANDY -10 vs
Temple- I always tell people who travel to Nashvegas to stay the hell away from
the tourist traps & sewers that comprise the downtown area, keep SW of I-40…
Go hit up Marathon, The End & the
other watering holes of West End & midtown. Do you really need to eat at a
Hard Rock Café & Joe’s Crab Shack and
pay $22 for an airbrush t-shirt of you & Kenny Chesney riding a horse into
a sunset???
BOISE ST +10
vs Mississippi- I think it is terrific that all those Ole Piss football fans
will FINALLY get to see the inside of the Georgia Dome!!! Let’s see how many
frat boys pee their seersucker suits the moment they’re asked for money or
asked if they have any extra tickets from some of Atlanta’s finest downtown
street ramblers…
TEXAS NORMAL
COLLEGE & TEACHER TRAINING INSTITUTE +25 @ Tejas- Keep Austin Weird!! My
better half gets lost amid a sea of music, bubbles, handlebar mustaches &
brisket every time we venture out to lovely Austin. Perhaps little man Strong
needs to recruit more hipsters and less mouth breathers to get them going again…
FRESNO ST
+22 @ Southern Cal- Would someone please find me ONE interweb writer who hasn’t
tweeted or posted a blog journal talking about that thief who posed as a hero,
there may be one or two decent football guys out there that didn’t think it was
necessary to jump on the flavor of the week story.
WASHINGTON
-16½ @ Hawaii- Not a bad way to start off your career at a school without blue
turf, eh? Travel to the islands and face a team battered and beaten down from
poor coaching, lack of talent & an obvious allergic reaction to Plumeria.
WEST
VIRGINIA +27 vs Alabama- Here we have the Tide’s annual recruiting trip to the
Peach State to pillage the best talent away from that mediocre state
university. I’m finding myself getting fairly annoyed at all the overconfident
Bama fans(some of whom I studied with in Ttown many moons ago) filling message
boards with tripe & uttering “West Virginia(or whoever we play) Hate Week”.
Back in my daze, we appreciated our return on investment & were respectful
of other programs. We also had a coach nicknamed Clappy VonCombover who screwed
secretaries & blamed god when we lost…
BOSTON
COLLEGE -14½ @ UMass- There will be more students in the library as well as in
Club Passim than journeying up to Tom Brady Jerkoff Fest Stadium this weekend. Their
f-ing stadium is closer to Quahog, RI than their campus…
CLEMSON +7½
@ Jaw-Juh- I can imagine that breaking in two new QBs will make the first
quarter of this game look like a bunch of donkeys trying to screw a volleyball…
And I figure that will draw out all the Boooos from your typical Dawg phan:
overalls, shaved head, goatee, knuckles the size of shot glasses, the look on
their eyes that you have when you almost crap your pants, & a complete
inability to communicate with the outside world, which for them, is being in
Athens…
Selah…
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