BC Gonzo Pix of the Week: Week 11

BC Gonzo Pix of the Week

Week 11 aka “Weak of the Stoned Roses”

 Vegas spreads her arms, waits there for the nails. 

 I forgive you boy, I will prevail....

5 Star Platinum Pick:

Ohio St -16 @ Illinois: A pissed off Urban Meyer’s fragile mental stability is at a point that could lead to a nasty suicide. Or murder-suicide. For those that pray, y’all pray he doesn’t get $aban in a rematch. This week’s slaughter of the fightin Chief Illinis gives him a much needed mental time out….

5 Star Picks:

Kentucky +3 @ Vandy: The Atlanta Fixer and I once had to mace our way out of a Lexington bar for suggesting the Wildcat Hoops program was a wee bit corrupt.  I’m sure those window-licking Thugs that chased us out of Buffalo Bills Eatery won’t even realize they still play football in November and will miss the Kats whip the shit out of The Doors.  “To please the lions”.   

                 

Michigan $t -14.5 vs. Maryland:  The Spartans were the latest victim of officiating travesty in 2015.  These old, white cock-suckers should be tested just like every senior citizen should be retested to drive at the age of 75.  At least, Dantonio Beard and Co. don’t have to worry about shitty refs in this week’s blowout.

4 Star Picks:

Temple -2.5 @ S. Florida: Philly and Tampa are 2 of the worst places I’ve ever visited: one is full of foul-mouthed, uneducated, yankee bruhs, and one is full of foul-mouthed, uneducated, yankee bruhs that reek of cheap cigars. Give a Hoot! Read a Book!

Mi$$i$$ippi $t +8 vs. Bama: Dan Mullen might be a cheap carbon copy of Cousin Eddie.  Yes, it is true former mentor Urban Meyer once cut his disability because the plate in his head wasn’t thick enough.  But don’t’ you worry about him, he can eat like a horse, whistle like a bird, and cover against the Tide.

 

3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks):

Nevada -1 vs. San Jose St: $20 hand jobs are plentiful in Reno, as are the suckers loading up on San Jose.  The Wolfpack hikes their collective leg on the pitiful Spartans.

Texas St -2.5 vs. Ga State: Coach fRan has denied any interest that his wife Kim has in the following locales: L.A., Miami, Columbia, or Blacksburg.  So keep those shovels in your shed boys, cause Kim’s dead ole dad might be rollin’ over in his grave but he’s mighty happy buried in the San Marcos dirt. 

Ok For Now…..

BC Gonzo

The Fixer's Week Eleven Inductions

WEEK ELEVEN

MICHIGAN ST -14 vs Maryland

UTAH -6 @ Arizona

WASHINGTON +3 @ Arizona St

OREGON +9½ @ Stanford

FLORIDA -7½ @ South Carolina

UCLA -9 vs Washington St

NORTHWESTERN -14½ vs Purdue

HAWAII -4 vs Fresno St

BC Gonzo Pix of the Week: Week 10

BC Gonzo Pix of the Week

Week 10 aka “Weak of the Triple Scorpio”

November is upon is! And of course, the highlight of Pivotal Week 10 will be Big Boi’s performance at halftime of the Georgia State/La Lafayette game.  I actually played in a Celebrity Pro Am tournament with the former OutKast rapper a few years ago at the prestigious Country Club of the South.  We finished 11 holes before the snotty, lily white organizers had us escorted out due to our attire and bizarre behavior. We finished the day by closing out the infamous, seedy ATL Gentlemen’s Club - Tattletale’s.  Later that week Big Boi was arrested in Miami for illegal possession of ecstasy, 800 Viagra pills, and a pound of pot party.  My attorney has advised me not to comment on this matter.  Anyway, I forgot where I was going with this senseless, goddamn lead….

Fornit Some Fornus!

Gettin Crunk for Week 10....

5 Star Platinum Pick:

La Lafayette -2 @ Georgia St: Not even Big Boi spitting out dirty lyrics, MDMA, or super-potent dick pills can arouse the Panzers or their 1,400 fans in attendance at the Georgia Dome.  Gonzo’s beloved Ragin Cajuns are on roll after stomping the hated WarHawks last weekend and will whip the pitiful Panthers.  Bill Curry must be rollin’ over in his grave….

5 Star Picks:

UNLV -9.5 vs. Hawaii:  Jim Nabors is another crooner from the Dirty South, although he and his partner make their home in Hawaii now.  He’s actually doing shows in Vegas this month and will be in attendance to witness his fruity, flaming Rainbows go down to the Rebels.  Afterwards, he is arrested outside the Excalibur for requesting a hand job from a transvestite midget dressed as a clown.   

Michigan $t -6 @ Nebraska:  After going through 3 ill-tempered, alcoholic coaches the last 15 years, Shucker fans were looking for a change of pace with Christ-Punching, mild-mannered Mike Riley.  It’s safe to say that they’d now sell their soul to return to the daze of corn-fed, roided-up country boys, illegally recruited L.A. gang-bangers, and their illegitimate walk-on program. And, of course, Lawrence “Mur-diddly-derer” Philips.  Misery continues this week for The Children of the Corn.    

                 

4 Star Picks:

LSWho??? +6.5 @ Alabama: I once volunteered to help with the cleanup of Hurricane Katrina on the Alabama gulf coast.  The experience was so rewarding that I now volunteer every 2 years to help clean up the trail of slime on I-59 left behind by the disgusting, smelly corndog Tigah fans in route to T-Town. Anyhaught, Fournette will Fornit some Fornus and lead the Bayou Bengals to the upset.

Penn St +2 @ Northwestern: I was at the Bama/LSU game 2 years ago, and Tiger fans had the clever idea to wear shirts that read: “I’d rather take a shower at Penn State than support Bama”.  That was about as funny as a Blue Baby.  Besides, everyone knows that the Swamp Donkeys don’t shower at all.  In any case, the boys from Perv State are putting that behind them and should roll in Evanston. 

 

3 Star Picks (shits and giggles picks):

E. Carolina -4 vs. S. Florida: Rotund Butt Pirate Coach Ruffin McNeil has lost tons of weight over the last year and attributes it to giving up his daily meal between breakfast and brunch and quitting drinking. Good for him. My girlfriend is trying to convince me to whip my drinking problem, and I’ve spent the last 4 miserable months on the wagon.  But at this point, I’d sell my goddamn soul just for a beer, but we’ll get in that later.  ECU tramples the Big Ole Brahmin Bulls in Greenville…   

Duke +8 @ UNC: Let’s stay on Wacky Tobacky road and visit Chapel Hill, where (speaking of selling one’s eternal soul), the scandal-ridden Tar Holes apparently sold their souls for 2 Tire Bowls. Ha – get it!?  Some Might Say the Dookies shall give UNC a fraudulent crash course in pain this weekend. 

Ok For Now…..

BC Gonzo

Week Ten of The Fixer's Pick'em Madness

WEEK TEN

MARSHALL +3 @ Middle Tennessee- It’s “The Battle For the I-65, I-69, & I-64 Trophy”, which is just a spittoon that mainly used by truckers along that route to piss in so they don’t have to stop at Rest Areas and disturb all the freaks looking for sex…

UTSA -10 vs Old Dominion- Your school opened in 1969, you started playing football in 2011, and your school president’s name is Ricardo Romo. What could possibly go wrong???

COLORADO ST -11 @ Wyoming- These two school have played the “Border War” aka pillow-fought each other every year since 1946, and the victor gets to take home the Bronze Boot. The boot was worn in the Vietnam War by Cpt. Dan J. Romero, an Army ROTC instructor at CSU between 1967 & 1969. Each year leading up to the contest, the game ball is carried in a running shuttle relay by the ROTC of the visiting team along US 287 to the Colorado–Wyoming border, where the home team's ROTC receives it and runs the game ball to the stadium hosting the game. The trophy is guarded by the ROTC unit of the past year's winning school during the game… Thanks Wiki...

APPALACHIAN ST -10½ vs Arkansas St- Looks like that stretch of overrated high school coaches bolting Jonesboro for greener pastures is drying up.

IOWA -7 @ Indiana- This is one of those games that’s played every year but you never see anything about it, hear anything about it, or even remember who won or lost it.

MICHIGAN ST -6 @ Nebraska- You know what’s bugging the shit out of me? Why are assholes putting Yeti cooler stickers on their cars & trucks? Is that something you really want to brag about? “Hey, I’m such a douchebag that I spent $500 on a fucking cooler, then thought everyone would envy me if I put a sticker on my car letting everyone know I bought one. But in reality, I’m such an insecure loser, that I really just want to fit into this warped fucking society where goddamn cooler stickers on trucks are a thing…”

WESTERN MICHIGAN -14 vs Ball St- I have no fucking idea which fucking day of the week this game is on, for all I know it was played yesterday, who the fuck cares, no one is watching this fucking garbage anyway…

TEMPLE -14 @ SMU- Isn’t it great that we’ve gotten to the point in conference consolidation that we get such tremendous matchup as this one here... I mean, at 8pm EST on Saturday night, screw the Tide & Tigers, the Noles & Clemson, and all the rest. I’m going to show up at a sports bar and request that the biggest television be put on the game being played in front of 3,700 people in Dallas…

AIR FORCE -17 vs Army- The Black Knights have only beaten the Centrifical Air Force 3 times since that time Michael Dukakis tried to become president. Or was it Jon Lovitz???

  

Selah…